"What is it?" "I don't know?" " Probably a crocodile." "Well, I think its a log!" "Lets see then!" The sun shines off the leathery body of he wilderbeast. Slowly he picks up a small stone from the river side and throws it at the unknown thing floating in the water. "See its a log." "I'm pretty sure its a croc." the other one says as he picks up a stick from the river side. Starting to poke the unknown thing, it stays in the exact same place to when they came over it in the start. " I'm pretty sure its a croc." "Probably a log." Slowly and steadily he splashes the interesting thing in the water. He then decides to jump onto it. Quickly he jumps over the onto the unknown animal or object floating in the water. " See, its a log," the wilderbeast on land says. "Snap!!" the animal returns to its place in the water, now without the wilderbeast on its back.
2 Comments
Kaea!
7/29/2014 09:30:18 am
You've developed a really good piece of work, Jacob! I liked the colloquial, everyday dialogue that was used for the two wildebeest in the story. Your ending sentence was actually very well written, and the deadpan-like nature gives the story a bit of goodhearted humour.
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Mrs Garthwaite
8/11/2014 06:46:29 pm
Well done, you have managed to avoid all speech and have included some descriptive language to build up the setting. You ended it well. Keep developing the setting to build a description.
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AuthorHi, my name is Jacob and I am Eleven. I am a Year Seven at Balmacewen Intermediate School. I enjoy to play Touch rugby and Cricket and was selected for the Otago team for both sports. I also play Rugby and Golf. Archives
August 2014
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