“Step right up, get the chance to become invisible” I yelled from the dank ticket booth. As my first customer slithered closer my head buzzed with excitement. This might be my chance to win some money.“Hi, would you like the chance to become invisible? To be able to eat as many sweets as you want and not get into trouble? If you do just buy this ticket and be able to do anything you want!” A slim expression cowered on his willing face. Bound by intrigue he asked for two tickets. Pop! He was gone.
- To use richer dialogue to keep my stories interesting and so they have more action.
- To use more similes and metaphors to describe the scene and characters with greater depth. His tussoked back, smeared with green paint hunched over me. Menacing eyes twinkled with enthusiasm at the thought of not having to scavenge for food as i was willingly standing there. Heavily outlined eyebrows hung off his florescent green face. his slimy sleek body reeked with hunger as long, tiresome days have gone by without any food. Sharp toenails dug into the ground, ripping up the earth beneath. Flapping his arms wildly with joy, 'food' he gurgled. His clawed fingers wrapped around me. RUN! I thought
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AuthorHi my name is Zoe. I love sport especially swimming. Archives
September 2014
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