I found this creature lying on the ground looking as if it was starving for days. What I found out about this creature was that it lives alone in bushes and forests and his favourite was berries. He has a oval, round body with huge feet which helps him to jump on things that he wants. His eyes open wide at a bowl of fresh picked berries as he finishes them up at once. His eyes show that he is desperate for more. His fur is soft with fluff. He might look a bit rough but he is the friendlest creature yet!!
5 Comments
j e n n a
7/29/2014 09:22:42 am
Hi Sarah, I really like your choice of describing words, it makes your writing interesting. You could try describing the moster more to make it clearer what it looks like. From Jenna
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olivia
8/7/2014 11:44:50 am
I really like how you have add his favourite food but maybe next time add some more descriptive words 😎
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Mrs Garthwaite
8/10/2014 06:30:03 pm
You are developing a good descriptive piece here Sarah. You are including actions and personality as well as appearance. I like the phrase " His eyes show that he is desperate for more." Keep adding to your description.
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Lily
8/12/2014 07:47:06 am
I love your story sarah. It is very interesting.
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I Z Z Y
8/12/2014 07:47:29 am
I like how you have descriptive language. maybe you could make it longer? ~izzy x
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