- Use more discriptive language.
- More emotions/thoughts
- Write more than three sentences in a paragraph
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Suddenly I woke, I had been bullied again today. The same people had came back to beat me up. I knew I had nothing to loose my sister, mum and yhe rest of the family had left me with nothing but a shabby old house, and a bed.
I got up to look at mess I had made, books, paper and other rubish all over the corridoor. I was scared that if I had taken another chance outside my home, I would ruin another school, or ruin more public properties. I took a deep breth, and made a step twords the exit. I could hear someone talking. I looked through a window, my science teacher was on the phone. Oh no. I new it was the police. I was now taking bigger steps, then I was running. I got to the door, and stole someones bike. The cop pulled up, oh god. I thought. |
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September 2014
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